When you settle into a familiarity with your mental health you can identify the lows and highs more easily.
I can feel the cloud descend upon me and the dark, black tinted glasses coming down over my eyes. Compared to the early days of my depression these days it feels like it happens in slow mo. Time to act on it and try to reverse it maybe? Im not sure it can be reversed….
It feels like my mood is dipping to a lower level and a dark sheath is beginning to envelop me in negativity. I start to lose interest in what would usually make me happy, and lose the enthusiasm for my usual activities. I slow down therefore end up doing less and find myself scrolling through my social media accounts more and more. Sadness appears and tells me im no longer happy though I can’t fathom a reason for the unhappiness.
Its a horrible feeling to suddenly find your zest for life gone. It takes you to a very dark place. It feels like nobody can help and you can’t help yourself.
Sometimes I just wait for it to pass. It feels like freedom from prison when I feel the veil lifting to allow me to see daylight. Every time I fall into an episode I hope the veil lifts quicker and quicker.