The Depressive Hole

It feels like you’re stuck…like you’ve fallen into something you see no way out of and you’re trapped.

I spend depression in a hole. In a hole doing nothing. For hours. For days. I have no motivation to do anything and find no joy in trying to find something to occupy me.

All the usual activities I find fun, hold no interest for me. My friends can say nothing that will inspire or touch me. I feel nothing but deep sadness. A sadness like no other that’s so devastating I don’t even have the energy to cry. I lay with a kind of numbness.

I wait for the emptiness and sadness to lift. Just wait. What else can I do? I deal with the guilt that I am not living life as I should and I’m wasting time (there’s always a time pressure present for me).

Just as I feel the depression descend upon me, I feel it elevate slowly as its ready to leave. These episodes used to last for days at a time…weeks. These days they are shorter and I recognise I have to just ride them out whilst trying to eat well.

I ride the wave as best I can.

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3 thoughts on “The Depressive Hole

  1. Maybe I loved this post because of how much I can relate to it. It maybe a sign of emotional intelligence of how we think so deeply about things. About why we even bother to do the things we do. It can be so difficult to live in the present and to just tell ourselves “Get up out of bed and start your day.” We stop ourselves by saying “But, why?”

    Loved this post!! To the point and there’s no exaggeration.

    Hope that your good days become more and more 💚

    Like

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